So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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