meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
