i just had sex bonerless
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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