Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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