I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
