Is it normal to miss your booty call?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
