We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
