I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
