Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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