I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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