Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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