Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
