so that wasnt chicken after all
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
