also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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