i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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