Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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