Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
