Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
