So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
