We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
