so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
