I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
