Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We don't watch enough power rangers
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
