i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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