fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
