I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
