If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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