R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
