The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
