But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
