Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
