Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
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