he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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