Just mADE A PArabola og urine
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
