i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
