I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
