Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
