so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
