New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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