Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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