I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
