I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
