dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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