I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
