he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
