So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
