Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
