I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
