paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
