i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
