Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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