Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
