If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
